I had a friend ask me once, “How’s married life treatin’ ya?” I answered him it’s treating me really well!

I started thinking about that question, how’s married life treatin’ ya. I think the question needs to be rephrased. You should ask “How are you treatin’ married life?” Marriage is something that some of us take for granted. It is something that we sometimes think should come easy; that we shouldn’t have to work to have a good relationship with our spouse.

I admit, I used to think that way myself; but for the past few months, my wife and I have been going to a Young Married’s bible study at Redeemer Covenant Church. In this class we have been going through the book Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas. Reading this book has changed the way I look at marriage. In the first chapter, Thomas suggests that the puropose of marriage isn’t to make us happy, but it is to make us holy. My initial reaction to this was to say no way! What is this guy talking about! But the more I read the book, the more it makes sense to me. God designed marriage to reflect his relationship with us, with the church. Check out Ephesians 5:22-33.

When we become closer to God, when we honor God through our marriage, he will honor us. (1 Samuel 2:30) I try not to expect my wife to do things for me to make me happy. Don’t get me wrong here, I still want her to, I just don’t get disappointed when she doesn’t do things for the sole purpose to please me. When she does things to make me closer to God, that makes me happy.

Thomas also wrote a devotional that goes along with the book. You don’t need to have read the book to do the devotional, although it really helps. In the first chapter (there are 52 total…one for every week of the year) Thomas presents the question “Are you a God-centered spouse?” I never thought about that before…being a God-centered spouse. What does that look like? This idea is centered around 2 Corinthians 7:1 “Let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God.” He says that we should do things for our spouses “out of reverence (respect) for God.” I have started to change the way I think about why I do things for my wife.

I leave you with this to ponder… Do you expect your mate to do things that will make you more happy? or do you expect your mate to do things to help you become more holy? How do you treat your married life?

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